How To Settle A Divorce Without Harming The Rest Of The Family

Unfortunately, divorces are becoming a lot more common in society today. Many believe that the reason divorce rates are rising is that people are becoming more promiscuous. Social media makes it much easier for people to cheat on their spouses than it was before. However, regardless of the cause of rising divorce rates, one thing is for certain, and that is that divorces don’t just hurt the couples going through them, they also hurt their families.

If you are planning on divorcing your partner (or you are going through a divorce) then this post will tell you how to do it without harming the rest of your family.

Legal Assistance

Divorces can get very bitter. Couples going through divorces often do everything they can to make one another’s lives difficult. If your partner is trying to make your life hard, then you need a lawyer’s help. According to one North Carolina divorce attorney, a lawyer can talk you through your rights and obligations, and then argue on your behalf. However, while it is definitely useful to have a lawyer on hand, you should try as best you can to deal with your divorce amicably. It will affect your family more if you and your spouse are at each other’s throats throughout divorce proceedings, and then afterward. Try to sit down with your spouse and reason with them. The smoother your divorce is, the less severe the impact will be on your family.

Maintain Ties

One common consequence of divorce is alienation from one’s in-laws. In other words, your spouse’s family probably won’t want to talk to you again, after your divorce is settled. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. You should try to maintain ties with your spouse’s family (and you should encourage them to maintain ties with yours). It is especially important to do this if you have children. Your children still need to see both sides of their family. It is unfair to alienate them from family members. Remember, while you are not related to your in-laws by blood, your children are.

Explaining Situation

When you and your spouse decide to get a divorce,  it is important to sit down with your children (and extended family) and explain to them what’s going to happen. You shouldn’t begin proceedings without doing this, because it can make things very difficult for everybody. You should be as delicate and careful as you can when you are breaking the news of your divorce. You could hurt your family’s feelings and cause them to feel distressed if you aren’t tactful in your approach. The last thing you want to deal with is upset relatives, on top of a divorce.

Sharing Custody

Unfortunately, couples often fight bitterly over who gets custody of the children. If children are involved, then why not consider shared custody? Children need both of their parents, not just one. While it can seem like it’s a good idea to steal your children away from your spouse, this will only lead to your children developing trauma, which could affect them well into their adulthood. The only time it’s suitable to remove your children from your spouse’s life is if they are a danger to them, i.e., because they are an alcoholic or because they are abusive.

Financial Halving

In a divorce, it’s common for people to divide their belongings in half, even if one person earned the majority of the money. The only time wealth isn’t divided is if it was given to one person as part of a loved one’s inheritance or if they had it before they met their spouse.  However, if you want your divorce to be as amicable as possible, then you should halve everything. Halving everything will help your divorce to go more smoothly and will ensure that you and your spouse remain friends. If you remain, friends, post-divorce, then your family will feel a lot better about things.

Serious Consideration

Is divorce actually right for you? A lot of people rush to get divorced, without first trying to resolve their issues through counseling, or under the supervision of a therapist. Give divorce serious consideration before you suggest it. You shouldn’t just rush into it, because this could lead to you making a decision that you regret. If there are problems in your relationship then try to work through them before suggesting a divorce. Only when your problems can’t be resolved (or when your spouse is disagreeable and unwilling to make changes) should you consider divorce.

Divorces are stressful, there’s no getting around it. However, there are a few effective ways of reducing the stress that you and your family members have to go through during a divorce. This post has covered some of them, but there are many more. Be sure to give each point outlined here some serious thought, so you can make divorce proceedings less painful for your family.